Turn the page

I always figure no one reads this until I post something that drives folks into emailing me: that last entry sure qualified....

So to answer the most common questions....

1. No, I don't want to be your friend on Facebook, or your contact on LinkedIn, or have you follow me on Twitter. And no, I don't want to be your friend here in town either. 

2. No, I'm not suicidal or desperate to settle down with someone either. If you know me from the past and I haven't gotten hold of you, or responded when you've contacted me, it's because I don't want to. 

3. No, I'm fine. A little meshuga some days, but a lot less than I was. 

Stampede with busy as usual, and hotter than the hinges of hell most days: I'm glad we're back to our regularly scheduled weather, which, of course, includes rainy weather for this weekend, as the Folk Fest is on.

One of my fellow "volunteers," as the Stampede is now so security conscious that it gives featured animals their own ID badge: they think someone is going to dress up in a llama suit to avoid paying to get in the gate?

So much to do (building a project, photographing/installing a commission, writing proposals) in the time before I head back to Ontario.

Excuse me while I fly off....

From the lowest low to the highest high

And, sadly, vice versa.



The last two months have, in their own way, been even more stressful than the previous year. Emerging from the fog of grief/numbness, I've been going through something akin to the "defrosting" of Austin Powers in the first movie: there have been (too many) times where my inner dialogue hasn't been all that inner.... It's pretty funny in the movie, but it isn't in this life of mine.



I'm getting serious work done, although not at the rate I was hoping: the commissioned installation piece only needs an armature (and a solution to cutting pieces of .5" rebar) and it's ready to go. The next major piece has had a few of its issues resolved and construction of it is imminent. The reason there hasn't been as much work being done is because I've been on an emotional rollercoaster: stripping gears by going into reverse from forward at light speed gets, um, a little tiring, and isn't just affecting me.



I knew going east last month was going to have serious repercussions -- and wrote about them at the end of the last blog entry. What I didn't count on was what and how they were going to do to my life. There were days when I couldn't imagine that giddy joy would ever be part of my life again, but were, and then just as quickly, the horrible, agonizing hysteria would return.



Which is where I now find myself. Again. Still. Whatever.



My knee-jerk reaction at the moment is to crawl back under my rock, pull the hole in after me, and disappear for awhile, but that's not a long-term solution for what ails me either. So I'll slug along for awhile, knowing at least one problem gets resolved (for good or bad) this week, and then take it from there.